21st Century...

21st Century... 


Our communication - Wireless


Our dress - Topless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our labour - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our boss - Brainless

Our Job - Thankless

Our Salary - Very less !!!

Real Life Logics

  Real Life Logics


There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, start thinking logically.

APPLE - A to Z

APPLE - A to Z

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar Ke khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X'mas mei bhii khane padenge apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple

Some Laws.... Newton 4got 

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have
left will start to move faster than the one you are in
now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number,
you never get an engaged one.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become
coated with grease, ur nose will begin to itch.

Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone
you know increases when you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.

GIRLS PSYCHOLOGY !!!

Fraud with Innocent Boys
--------- ---------------
Fun with Handsome Boys
------ ------------------
Friendship with Charming Boys
--------------- ---------------------
Contact with Intelligent Boys
------------ -------------------
Flirt with Freaky Boys
------ ------------
Love with Faithful Boys
-------- ------------
in the end
=========
Marriage with the Rich Boy

SANTA n BANTA

SANTA n BANTA mania continues

SANTA declares:

.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .

.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ===



SANTA talking on cell.

BANTA: kis se baat kar raho ho.

SANTA: biwi se.....

BANTA: itne... pyar se....?

SANTA: tumhari hai. . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

A donkey kicked SANTA & ran away

SANTA ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &

said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
 

4.Threat:When I am on tour

============ ========= ========= =====

On Jeeto's bday

SANTA had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank

manager.

============ ========= ========= ========

teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

SANTA: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

============ ========= ========= ======

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi

gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,

He wanted to save money so what did he do?

Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital

ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........

SANTA: Kyun key pizza hut mein"Delivery Free" hai.

============ ========= ========= ========= =

SANTA aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?

SANTA: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gaya aur mene kaha madam

jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai.....

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saabâ?o

SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to SANTA: Any great man born in this

village?

SANTA: no sir, only small Babies!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ==

Teacher: A for?

SANTA: Apple

Teacher: Jor se bolo?

SANTA: Jay mata di.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =========

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

SANTA says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks SANTAji, how far is LAND?

SANTA: 2kms....

Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?

SANTA: DOWNWARDS.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========

SANTA orders pizza.

Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?

SANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =======

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =========

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai

jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.

When a person asked what he was doing?

He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA n BANTA were fighting after exam.

Sir: Y r u fighting?

SANTA: This fool left the answer sheet blank,

Sir: So what?

SANTA: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both

copied.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.

BANTA: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent

my wife with him.

Newtons Laws on Love

Newtons Laws on Love

Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it
can transfer from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her
and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or
unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play
and break the legs of the boy.

Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a
boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the
boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement
of the bank balance.

Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal
and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!

A to Z Happyness

   A to Z Happyness

 A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even ifyou have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break
AwayBreak away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams,sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along theway.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappinessand grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long asyou remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a smallinkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Tryto learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. Thewarmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there'sroom for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer yourassistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that thingsalways have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a secondchance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see thegoodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'llfind success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head.Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

Classic Definitions......

Classic Definitions......

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other (Except Me!!!) .
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master. Hmmmmm.....this is really interesting....
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Oooops!!
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference room: A place where nobody talks, nobody listens everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Yawwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. ????????????....I think something wrong here....
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet" ......You are the Man!!!!
24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. This is the Fact.....
29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.......

Sardar is back

Sardar is back .............

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
You know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking.

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor.
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25th floor he remembers I'm unmarried!
At 10th floor he remembers I'm Banta not Santa!

On a romantic date sardars girl friend asks him:
"Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?"
He said: "Sure ! What's your phone number?"


Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.


A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander:
"Why are you laughing?"
Sardar: "I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following me."

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote: "Due To Rain, No Match!"

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.


Why can't sardars dial Nine-Eleven (911) at emergency?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.


Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar: Drink quickly.
Wife: Why?
Sardar: Hot coffee Rs 5 and cold coffee Rs 10


A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge: How'll you divide? You have three children.
Sardar: Ok! We"ll apply next year.

Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar news: A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab. Local sardars have so far found 500 >bodies and are still digging for more.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies.
Sardar goes to China to find meaning of friends last words.
It is "You are standing on the oxygen tube!"


Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
Wife: What you are doing?
Sardar: I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

 

Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't u exchange?
Sardar: Oye! There was nobody to exchnge in the lower berth.


A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said:
"Fill Up In Capital.".


Sardar had twins. He named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater.
Again twins and named them Max and Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted sardar named them Tired & Retired.


Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.
Why? Because his doctor advised him:
"Today's dinner should be light !"


Sardar and Family go to a party.
He introduces himself "I Sardar, she Sardarnee, the boy my Kid and the girl my Kidney".

Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT University and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job.
One common question was asked to all of them.INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD
YALE Guy: It is Light, nothing can travel faster than Light.HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind. MIT Guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it's hard to realize you blinkedSANTA SINGH: Its Loose MotionINTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply) "WHY"?
SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over !! 

 

A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle,
why ?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but
also
its beginning !

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit
?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question
-Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether it is working.
He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES

 

Air travel of Sardarji
One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.
But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.
After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.
But the Sardaji told, "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".
The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess
requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.
Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.
Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the
Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to
the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?
Captain told, "nothing… I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar."

Hope..... You will like it...!!!!

Hope..... You will  like it...!!!!

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Wives (Joke)

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place....

Man: "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."

Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the
time?"

The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

Standard Measurements in Sports

Standard Measurements in Sports

BASEBALL

Home plate to pitcher's box 60 feet 6 inches. Plate to second base 127 feet 3 3/8 inches. Distance from base to base (home plate included) 90 feet. Size of bases 15 inches by 15 inches. Pitcher's plate 24 inches by 6 inches. Batter's box 4 feet by 6 feet. Home plate Five-sided, 17 inches by 8 1/2 inches by 8 1/2 inches by 12 inches by 12 inches, cut to a point at rear. Home plate to backstop Not less than 60 feet (recommended). Weight of ball Not less than 5 ounces nor more than 5 1/4 ounces. Circumference of ball Not less than 9 inches nor more than 9 1/4 inches. Bat Must be one piece of solid wood, round, not over 2 3/4 inches in diameter at thickest part, nor more than 42 inches in length.

BASKETBALL

(National Collegiate A.A. Men's Rules)

Playing court College: 94 feet long by 50 feet wide (ideal dimensions). High School: 84 feet long by 50 feet wide (ideal dimensions). Baskets Rings 18 inches in inside diameter, with white cord 12-mesh nets, 15 to 18 inches in length. Each ring is made of metal, is not more than 5/8 of an inch in diameter, and is bright orange in color. Height of basket 10 feet (upper edge). Weight of ball Not less than 20 ounces nor more than 22. Circumference of ball Not greater than 30 inches and not less than 29 1/2. Free-throw line 15 feet from the face of the backboard, 2 inches wide. Three-point field goal line 19 feet, 9 inches from the center of the basket. In the National Basketball Association, the distance is 22 feet.

SOCCER

Playing field Minimum 100 yards long by 50 yards wide; maximum: 130 yards long by 100 yards wide. International matches: Minimum 110 yards long by 70 yards wide; Maximum: 120 yards long by 80 yards wide. Longer boundary lines are called touchlines or sidelines, and shorter boundary lines are called goal lines. Goal area Two lines drawn at right angles to a goal line, 6 yards from the inside of each goalpost. Lines extend into playing field for 6 yards, and are joined by a line drawn parallel with the goal line. Goals Distance between posts is 8 yards. Distance from crossbar to the ground is 8 feet. Width and depth of bars not to exceed 5 inches. Weight of ball Not more than 16 ounces nor less than 14. Circumference of ball Not greater than 28 inches nor less than 27. Penalty area Two lines drawn at right angles to the goal line, 18 yards from the inside of each goalpost. Lines extend into playing field for 18 yards and are joined by a line drawn parallel with the goal line. Center circle Radius of 10 yards. Center at midpoint of halfway line. Flagposts Not less than 5 feet high, and not less than 1 yard outside the touchline. Corner arc Quarter circle with a radius of 1 yard from each corner flagpost drawn inside playing field.

BOWLING

Lane dimensions Overall length 62 feet 10 3/16 inches, measuring from foul line to pit (not including tail plank), with ± 1/2 inch tolerance permitted. Foul line to center of No. 1 pinspot 60 feet, with ± 1/2 inches with a tolerance of ± 1/2 inch permitted. Approach, not less than 15 feet. Gutters, 9 5/16 inches wide with plus 3/16 inch or minus 5/16 inch tolerances permitted. Ball Circumference, not more than 27.002 inches. Weight, 16 pounds maximum.

BOXING

Ring Professional matches take place in an area not less than 18 nor more than 24 feet square including apron. It is enclosed by four covered ropes, each not less than one inch in diameter. The floor has a 2-inch padding of Ensolite (or equivalent) underneath ring cover that extends at least 6 inches beyond the roped area in the case of elevated rings. For USA Boxing or Olympic-style boxing, not less than 16 nor more than 20 feet square within the ropes. The floor must extend beyond the ring ropes not less than 2 feet. The ring posts shall be connected to the four ring ropes with the extension not shorter than 18 inches and must be properly padded. Gloves In professional fights, not less than 8-ounce gloves generally are used. USA Boxing, 10 ounces for boxers 106 pounds through 156 pounds; 12-ounce for boxers 165 pounds through 201+ pounds; for international competition, 8 ounces for lighter classes, 10 ounces for heavier divisions. Headguards Mandatory in Olympic-style boxing.

FOOTBALL

Length of field 120 yards (including 10 yards of end zone at each end). Width of field 53 1/3 yards (160 feet). Height of goal posts At least 30 feet. Height of crossbar 10 feet. Width of goal posts  (above crossbar) 18 feet 6 inches, inside to inside. Length of ball 10 7/8 to 11 7/16 inches (long axis). Circumference of ball 20 3/4 to 21 1/4 inches (middle); 27 3/4 to 28 1/2 inches (long axis).

GOLF

Specifications of ball Broadened to require that the ball be designed to perform as if it were spherically symmetrical. The weight of the ball shall not be greater than 1.620 ounces avoirdupois, and the size shall not be less than 1.680 inches in diameter. Velocity of ball Not greater than 250 feet per second when tested on USGA apparatus, with 2 percent tolerance. Hole 4 1/4 inches in diameter and at least 4 inches deep. Clubs 14 is the maximum number permitted. Overall distance standard A brand of ball shall not exceed a distance of 280 yards plus 6% when tested on USGA apparatus under specified conditions, on an outdoor range at USGA Headquarters.

HOCKEY

Size of rink 200 feet long by 85 feet wide surrounded by a wooden wall not less than 40 inches and not more than 48 inches above level of ice. Size of goal 6 feet wide by 4 feet in height. Puck 1 inch thick and 3 inches in diameter, made of vulcanized rubber; weight 5 1/2 to 6 ounces. Length of stick Not more than 60 inches from heel to end of shaft nor more than 12 1/2 inches from heel to end of blade. Blade should not be more than 3 inches in width but not less than 2 inches—except goal keeper's stick, which shall not exceed 3 1/2 inches in width except at the heel, where it must not exceed 4 1/2 inches, nor shall the goalkeeper's stick exceed 15 1/2 inches from the heel to the end of the blade.

TENNIS

Size of court 120 feet long by 60 feet wide, with rectangle marked off at 78 feet long by 27 feet wide (singles) and 78 feet long by 36 feet wide (doubles). Height of net 3 feet in center, gradually rising to reach 3-foot 6-inch posts at a point 3 feet outside each side of court. Ball Shall be more than 2 1/2 inches and less than 2 5/8 inches in diameter and weigh more than 2 ounces and less than 2 1/6 ounces. Service line 21 feet from net.

Common Abbreviations

Common Abbreviations:

A
AAFI AAPSO AASU ABM AC ACC AD ADB AERE AGOC AICC AICTE AIDS AIFE AIIMS AIL AIMPLB AIR AITUE AM ANC APEC APSC ASEAN ASLV ASI ASSOCHAM ASWAC ATS	Amateur Athletics Federation of India Afro-Asian People's Solidarity Organisation All Assam Students Union Anti Ballistic Missile Alternate Current / Ashok Chakra / Air Conditioner / Antarctic Club Anxillary Cadet Core Ano Domini (After the birth of Jesus) Asian Development Bank . Atomic Energy Research Establishment Asian Games Organisation Committee All India Congress Committee All India Council of Technical Education Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome All India Football Federation All India Institute of Medical Sciences Aeronautics India Limited All India Muslim Personal Law Board All India Radio (Broadcasting) All India Trade Union Congress Anti Meridian (Before Noon) African National Congress Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Army Postal Services Core Association of South East Asian Nations Augmented Satellite Launch Vehicle Archaeological Survey of India Associated Chamber of Commerce and Industry (India)  Airborne Surveillance Warning and Control Anti Tetanus Serum
B
BAMS BARC BBC BC BCG BCCI BEL BENELUX BHEL BIFR BIMSTEC BIS B Pharma BSF	Bachelor of Ayurvedic Medicine and Surgery Bhabha Atomic Research Centre British Broadcasting Corporation Before Christ (Before the birth of Jesus) Bacillus Calmette Guerin (Anti TB Vaccine) Board of Control for Cricket in India Bharat Electronics Limited Belgium, Netherlands and Luxemburg Bharat Heavy Electronics Limited Board of Industrial Finance and Reconstruction (Formerly Industrial Reconstruction Finance Board) Bangladesh, India, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Thailand Economic Cooperation Bureau of Indian Standards Bachelor of Pharmacy Border Security Force
C
CAD CAG CARE CASE CAT CAZRI CBI CBSE CCEA CCS C-DAC CDMA CDRI CDS CHOGM CID CIS CISF CITU CNG COD COFEPOSA CPO CPRI CRPF CRR CSIR CSO CTS CVC	Command Area Development Comptroller and Auditor General Cooperative for American Relief Everywhere Commission for Alternative Sources of Energy Central Administrative Tribunal, Computerised Axial Tomography  Central Arid Zone Research Institute Central Bureau of Investigation Central. Board of Secondary Education Cabinet Committee on Economic Affairs Cabinet Committee on Security Centre For Development of Advance Computing Code Division Multiple Access Central Drug Research Institute Compulsory Deposit Scheme Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Criminal Investigation Department Commonwealth of Independent States Central Industrial Security Force , Centre of Indian Trade Unions Compressed Natural Gas Central Ordnance Depot Conservation of Foreign Exchange and Prevention of Smuggling Act Central Passport Organisation Central Power Research Institute Central Reserve Police Force Cash Reserve Ratio Council of Scientific and Industrial Research Central Statistical Organisation Computerised Tomography Scanner Central Vigilance Commission
D
DDT DFDR DIG D.Lit. DM DMK DNA DPAP DPC DPSA DRDO DTH DVD	Dichloro Diphenyle Tri-chloroethane 'Digital Flight Data Recorder (Black box)' Deputy Inspector General Doctor of Literature District Magistrate Dravida Munetra Kazhagam Di-oxyribo-Nucleic Acid 'Drought Prone Area Programme Dabhol Power Company Deep Penetration Strike Aircraft Defence Research and Development Organisation Direct to Home Digital Versatile Disk
E
EAS ECD ECG EEC EEG ELISA EMF EPABX EPZ ERDA ESMA EVM EXIM Bank	Employment Assurance Scheme European Central Bank Electro Cardiogram European Economic Community Electro Encephalogram Enzyme Linked Immuno Sorbent Assay Electromotive Force Electronic Private Automatic Branch Exchange Export Processing Zone Energy Research and Development Administration Essential Services Maintenance Act Electronic Voting Machine Export-Import Bank of India
F
FAO FBI FBTR FCI FDR FERA FEMA FICCI FIPB FIR FRS FTII FTZ	Food and Agriculture Organisation Federal Bureau of Investigation (USA) Fast Breeder Test Reactor Food Corporation of India / Fertilizer Corporation of India Flight Data Recorder (Black Box) Foreign Exchange Regulation Act Foreign Exchange Management Act Federation of India Chambers of Commerce and Industry Foreign Investment Promotion Board First Information Report Fellow of the Royal Society Films and Television Institute of India Free Trade Zone
G
GAIL GATT GIC GMT GNLF GNP GPF GPO GPS GSI	Gas Authority of India Limited General Agreement on Tariff and Trade General Insurance Corporation Greenwich Mean Time Gorkha National Liberation Front Gross National Product General Provident Fund General Post Office Global Positioning System Geological Survey of India
H
HAC HAL HCF HDFC HIV HMT HUDCO HYVS	Hindustan Aluminium Corporation Hindustan Aeronautics Limited Highest Common Factor Housing Development Finance Corporation Human Immuno-deficiency Virus Hindustan Machine Tools Housing and Urban Development Corporation High Yield Variety Seeds
I
IAAI lAC IAEA IARI IBRD ICAR ICBM ICC ICFTU ICICI ICJ ICMR ICSI IDA IDBI IDO IDPL IFA IFCI IFFI IFFCO IFTU IIPA lIS IISCO lIT ILO IMA IMF INGCA INS INSAT INTELSAT INTERPOL INTUC IOC IPC IPKF IQ IRBM IRC IRDA IRDP ISB ISM ISO ISP ISRO IST ITBP ITDC ITPO ITO ITUC	International Airport Authority of India Indian Airlines Corporation International Atomic Energy Agency Indian Agricultural Research Institute International Bank for Reconstruction and Development (World Bank) Indian Council of Agricultural Research Inter Continental Ballistic Missile International Cricket Council International Confederation of Free Trade Unions Industrial Credit and Investment Corporation of India Limited International Court of Justice Indian Council of Medical Research Indian Company Secretaries Institute International Development Agency Industrial Development Bank of India International Defence Organisation Indian Drugs and Pharmaceuticals Limited Indian Football Association Industrial Finance Corporation of India International Film Festival of India Indian Farmers Fertilizers Cooperative International Federation of Trade Unions Indian Institute of Public Administration Indian Institute of Sciences Indian Iron and Steel Company Indian Institute of Technology International Labour Organisation Indian Military Academy International Monetary Fund Indira Gandhi Gallery for Culture and Art Indian Naval Ship Indian National Satellite International Telecommunication Satellite International Police Organisation Indian National Trade Union Congress International Olympic Committee / Indian Oil Corporation Indian Penal Code Indian Peace Keeping Force Intelligence Quotient Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile International Red Cross Insurance Regulatory Development Authority Integrated Rural Development Programme Indian Standard Bureau Indian School of Mines International Organisation for Standardisation Internet Services Provider Indian Space Research Organisation Indian Standard Time Indo-Tibet Border Police Indian Tourism Development Corporation Indian Trade Promotion Organisation International Trade Organisation Indian Trade Union Congress
J
JMM	Jharkhand Mukti Morcha
K
KG	Kinder Garten
L
LASER LIC LLB LLM LMG LoC LoAC LPG LSD LTTE	Light Amplification By Stimulated Emission of Radiation Life Insurance Corporation of India Bachelor of Law Master of Law Light Machine Gum Line of Control (Pakistan) Line of Actual Control (China) Liquefied Petroleum Gas Lysergic acid di-ethylamide Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam
M
MA MASER MBA MBBS MBT MCA MCC MD MFN MI MISA MIT MLA MLC MNC MRCP MRCS MRTPC MODVAT	Master of Arts Microwave Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation Master of Business Administration Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery Main Battle Tank Monetary Compensatory Allowance / Master of Computer Application Melbourne Cricket Club Doctor of Medicine Most Favoured Nation Military Intelligence Maintenance of Internal Security Act Mechachusates Institute of Technology (USA) Member of Legislative Assembly Member of Legislative Council Multi National Corporation Member of Royal College of Physicians Member of Royal College of Surgeons Monopoly and Restrictive Trade Practices Commission Modified Value Added Tax
N
NABARD NACO NAEP NAFED NAFTA NAPP NASA NASDAQ NASSCOM NATO NCW NCCR NCERT NDA NDDB NDF NEERI NEFA NEPA NFDC NFL NHRC NICO NIDC NIIT NIMHANS NITIE NMDS NMEP NOIDA NPC NPP NPT NRDC NREP NRI NSC NSSO NTC NTPC	National Bank for Agricultural and Rural Development National AIDS Control Organisation National Adult Education Programme National Agricultural and Marketing Federation North American Free Trade Agreement Narora Atomic Power Plant National Aeronautics and Space Administration (USA) National Association of Security Dealer's Active Quotation National Association of Software & Service Companies North Atlantic Treaty Organisation National Commission for Women National Council for Civil Right National Council of Educational Research & Training National Defence Academy National Dairy Development Board (Anand, Gujarat) National Defence Fund . National Environment Engineering Research Institute North-East Frontier Agency National Environment Protection Authority National Film Development Corporation National Fertilizer Limited National Human Rights Commission New Information and Communication Order National Industrial Development Corporation National Institute of Information Technology National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences National Institute for Training in Industrial Engineering National Missile Defence System (US) National Malaria Eradication Programme New Okhla Industrial Development Authority National Productivity Council National Population Policy Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty National Research and Development Corporation National Rural Employment Programme Non Resident Indian National Security Council National Sample Survey Organisation National Textile Corporation National Thermal Power Corporation
O
OGL OIL OK ONGC OPEC	Open General Licence Oil India Limited All Correct Oil and Natural Gas Commission Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries
P
PCI PCS Ph. D PIN PLO PM POTA PSLV PTI PRO PTO PVC PVSM PWD PWG	Press Council of India Provincial Civil Services Doctor of 'Philosophy Posial lndex Number Palestine Liberation Organisation Post Meridian / Prime Minister Prevention of Terrorism Act Polar. Satellite Launch Vehicle Press Trust of India Public Relations Officer Please Turn Over Poly Vinyl Chloride / Paramvir Chakra Param Vishisht Seva Medal Public Work's Department People's War Group
Q
QED QEF QEI QMG	Quod Erat Demonstrandum (Which was to be proved) Quod Erat Faciendum (Which was to be done) Quod Erat Inveniendum (Which was to be found) Quarter Master General
R
RADAR RAW R & D RBI RCC RDX RIMC RMS RLEGP RNA RPM RSS RTO	Radio Angle Direction and Range Research and Analysis Wing Research and Development Reserve Bank of India Reinforced Cement Concrete Research Developed Explosive Rashtriya Indian Military College Railway Mail Service Rural Landless Employment Guarantee Programme Ribonucleic Acid Revolutions Per Minute Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh Regional Transport Officer
S
SAARC SAC SAFTA SAI SAIL SAPTA SARS SC SCI SCOPE SCRA SDR SEBI SGPC SHAR SIDBI SIS SITA SLV SPCA SPICMC STARS STD STPI SWAPO	South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation Space Application Centre South Asian Free Trade Agreement Sports Authority of India Steel Authority of India Limited South Asian Preferential Trade Arrangement Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Security Council/Supreme Court Shipping Corporation of India Standing Conference of Public Enterprises Special Class Railway Apprentice Special Drawing Rights Security Exchange Board of India Siromani Gurudwara Prabandhak Committee Shri Harikota Range Small Industries Development Bank of India Secret Intelligence Service (U.K) Suppression of .Immoral Traffic in Women and Girls Act Satellite Launch Vehicle Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals Society for the Promotion of Indian Classical music and culture Satellite Tracking and Ranging Station Subscribers Trunk Dialing Software Technology Parks of India South West African People's Organisation
T
TA TC TELCO TELEX TISCO TNT TOEFL TRAI TRIPS TTE TTFI TWA	Travelling Aliowance / Territorial Anmy Transfer Certificate, Trusteeship Council Tata Engineering and Locomotive Company Teleprinter Exchange Tata Iron and Steel Company Limited Tri-nitro-toluene Test of English as a Foreign Language Telecom Regulatory Authority of India Trade Related Intellectual Property Rights Travelling Ticket Examiner Table Tennis Federation of India Trans World Airlines (USA)
U
UDC UFO UGC UHT ULFA UNCTAD UNDP UNEF UNEP UNESCO UNFPA UNHCR UNI UNICEF UNO UPS UPSC USP USSR UTI	Upper Division Clerk Unidentified Flying Object University Grants Commission Ultra High Temperature United Liberation Front of Assam United Nations Conference on Trade and Development United Nations Development Programme United Nations Emergency Force United Nations Environment Programme United Nations Economic Social and Cultural Organisation United Nations for Population Activities United Nations High Commission for Refugees United News of India United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund United Nations Organisation Uninterrupted Power Supply Union Public Service Commission Unique Selling Proposition, Union of Soviet Socialist Republic Unit Trust of India
V
VAT VDIS VC VIP VPP VRS VSNL VSSC	Value Added Tax Voluntary Disclosure of Income Scheme Vice-Chancellor / Victoria Cross Very Important Person Value Payable Post Voluntary Retirement Scheme Videsh Sanchar Nigam Limited Vikram Sarabhai Space Centre
W
WEF WHO WILL WMO WWF WPI WTO WWF WWW	World Economic Forum World Health Organisation Wireless in Local Loop World Meteorological Organisation World Wild Life Fund Wholesale Price Index World Trade Organisation World Wild Life Fund for Nature World Wide Web
X
X-tian	Christian
Y
YMCA YWCA	Young Men's Christians Association Young Women's Christians Association
Z
ZBB ZPG ZS ZSI	Zero Based Budgeting Zero Population Growth Zoological Society Zoological Survey of India