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                                   When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches,  but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their
 ear to find out if it stopped.
 –– Marcel Achard  Of course there's a lot of knowledge in  universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take  much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates... ––  Anonymous  Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation. –– Francis Bacon  Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition. –– Jacques Barzun  Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. –– Hector Louis Berlioz  It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. –– Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed  It is important that students bring a  certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not  here to worship what is known, but to question it. –– J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man  The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself. –– Edward Bulwer-Lytton  Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. –– Albert Camus  A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. –– Thomas Carruthers  Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ––  Chinese Proverb  A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. –– John Ciardi  The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn. ––  Cicero  The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne. –– Robertson Davies  Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning. –– Benjamin Disraeli  The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another. –– Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945  Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes. –– Norman Douglas  How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it. –– Alexandre Dumas fils  If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others. –– Tryon Edwards  It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. –– Albert Einstein  Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. –– Ralph Waldo Emerson  The whole art of teaching is only the art  of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of  satisfying it afterwards. –– Anatole France  You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence. –– Robert Frost  Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. –– Gail Godwin  The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving. –– Russell Green  I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She  could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one more letter she'd  have to remember. –– Shecky Greene  Our schools have been scientifically  designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The average  American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because  they're not tempted to think about any other role. –– William Torrey Harris, U.S. Commissioner of Education, 1889  Perhaps the most valuable result of all  education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do,  when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not. –– Aldous Huxley  Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed. –– Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?)  If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder. –– Pope John Paul I  To teach is to learn twice. –– Joseph Joubert  An understanding heart is everything is a  teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with  appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who  touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw  material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for  the soul of the child. –– Carl Gustav Jung  University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. –– Henry Kissinger  Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. –– Bob Perelman  A university professor set an examination  question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and  apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I  don't know and I don't care. –– Richard Pratt, Pacific Computer Weekly, 20 July 1990  Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life. –– John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics)  It is because modern education is so  seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves great  results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating  the future dominates the minds of those who control the teaching of the  young. –– Bertrand Russell  It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned. –– Leslie Jeanne Sahler  A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. –– George Bernard Shaw  Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. –– B.F. Skinner  The philosophy exam was a piece of cake ––  which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some  questions on a sheet of paper. ––  Smith & Jones  I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think. ––  Socrates  Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. –– G. M. Trevelyan  I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. –– Mark Twain  The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. –– William Arthur Ward  If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get. –– John Watson, University of Canterbury  The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you  after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between the  pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever. –– Virginia Woolf
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 Elegance of language may not be in the power of all  of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness are. Write much as you  would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser  than usual; if with your superiors, no finer. Be what you say; and,  within the rules of prudence, say what you are. ––  Alford  I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. ––  Anonymous  The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue. ––  Anonymous  There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say –– unless you insist on saying it. ––  Anonymous  The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. –– Josh Billings  The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning it. –– Edward Bulwer-Lytton  I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm. –– Calvin Coolidge  Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. ––  Gandhi  Silence is argument carried out by other means. –– Ernesto "Che" Guevara  When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. –– Ernest Hemingway  The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. –– Kin Hubbard  Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture. –– Aldous Huxley  Value your words. Each one may be the last. –– Stanislaw J. Lec  I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. –– Tom Lehrer  Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. –– Abraham Lincoln  Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. –– Abraham Lincoln  Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. –– Anne Morrow Lindbergh  No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why. –– Mignon McLaughlin  He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. –– John Stuart Mill  We can never be sure that the opinion we  are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we were sure,  stifling it would be an evil still. –– John Stuart Mill  Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. ––  Mother Teresa  It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang. –– Tom Robbins  The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. –– George Bernard Shaw  He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful. –– Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay  If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible. –– James McNeill Whistler  Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the human will. –– Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway
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 You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. –– Albert Camus  The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. –– Albert Einstein  Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes. –– Elbert Hubbard  Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you. –– Aldous Huxley  Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you. –– Aldous Huxley  Experience teaches only the teachable. –– Aldous Huxley  Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson. –– Vernon Law  Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. –– Vince Lombardi  We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience. –– George Bernard Shaw  Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins. ––  Sioux Indian Prayer  Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. –– Don Stanford  To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour. –– Robert L. Stevenson  Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing. –– Oscar Wilde  Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes. –– Oscar Wilde  Good judgement comes from experience, and experience––well, that comes from poor judgement. –– Cousin Woodman
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 If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded. –– Maya Angelou  There are trivial truths, and there are  great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The  opposite of a great truth is also true. –– Neils Bohr  The opposite of a correct statement is a  false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be  another profound truth. –– Niels Bohr  Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a thing to be acheived. –– William Jennings Bryant  To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself. –– Francis Crawford  Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it. –– Josephus Daniels  ... I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. –– Thomas Edison  Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. –– Albert Einstein  Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. –– Henry Ford  The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart. –– Robert G. Ingersoll  Mistakes are the portals of discovery. –– James Joyce  Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing. –– Abraham Lincoln  The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just. –– Abraham Lincoln  Many a man has finally succeeded only  because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had never met defeat  he would never have known any great victory. –– Orison Swett Marden  No other success can compensate for failure in the home. –– David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism  What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? –– Robert Schuller  What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail? –– Robert Schuller  You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. –– Beverly Sills  Whatever you are from nature, keep to it;  never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature intended you for,  and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands  times worse than nothing. –– Sydney Smith  Do not let yourselves be discouraged or  embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely to achieve in  trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single  generation, to create an earthly paradise. Who could expect that? But,  if you make life ever so little better, you will have done splendidly,  and your lives will have been worthwhile. –– Arnold Toynbee  If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters. –– Abigail Van Buren  It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. –– Gore Vidal  Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. –– George E. Woodberry
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   It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality. –– Arnold Bennett  Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. –– Samuel Butler  A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. –– Fr. Jerome Cummings  It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. –– Benjamin Disraeli  I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. ––  Euripides  My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me! –– Henry Ford  There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. –– Benjamin Franklin  When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy  him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something  appropriate and do it. –– E. W. Howe  Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. –– Thomas Jones  The real test of friendship is: Can you  literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy together those  moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people  looks back on at the end of life and number as their most sacred  experiences. –– Eugene Kennedy  The better part of one's life consists of his friendships. –– Abraham Lincoln  The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. –– Aaron Machado  When one is trying to do something beyond  his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends  are at their best in moments of defeat. –– Henry Miller  A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy. –– Friedrich Nietzsche  Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. –– Anaïs Nin  We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade. –– Caroline Norton  When we honestly ask ourselves which  person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those  who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather  to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The  friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion,  who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can  tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the  reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. –– Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude  Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen. –– Samuel Paterson  Do not assume that she who seeks to  comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that  sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and  difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would  never have been able to find these words. –– Rainer Maria Rilke  Friends need not agree in everything or go  always together, or have no comparable other friendships of the same  intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal  things: and in that sense it is more ideal and less subject to trouble  than marriage is. –– George Santayana  Good friends are good for your health. –– Irwin Sarason  Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. –– Sydney Smith  A friend is a gift you give yourself. –– Robert Louis Stevenson  A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. –– Walter Winchell  Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends. –– Virginia Woolf
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 Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. –– Carol Burnett  You have to stay in shape. My grandmother,  she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today  and we don't know where the hell she is. –– Ellen DeGeneres  The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. –– Jean Kerr  I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. –– Carol Leifer  A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal. –– George H. Mead  I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. –– Richard Nixon, U.S. President  I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. –– Mark Twain  You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax––tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. –– Pearl Williams
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 If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. –– Scott Adams  There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. –– Guy Almes  There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. –– Jeremy S. Anderson  If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything. –– John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life  Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
 Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
 Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet.
 ––  Anonymous  If you put garbage in a computer nothing  comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very  expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it. ––  Anonymous  Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on! –– Rory Bremner  The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. –– Andrew Brown  Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read. ––  Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA  By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa)  was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total disaster. But the  investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its  completion, it cost a fortune to maintain and is still in danger of  collapsing. There are no plans to replace it, since it was never needed  in the first place. I expect every installation has its own pet software  which is analogous to the above. –– Ken Iverson  Saying that Windows95 is equal to  Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing  you've witnessed the second coming. –– Guy Kawasaki  I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake. –– D. H. Lawrence  Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic  bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a  25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and  have people all across the country know about it. –– Mark Leeper  Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET? –– Michael Meissner  In view of all the deadly computer viruses  that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind  you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every  computer that that computer has ever linked up to. –– Dennis Miller, "Saturday Night Live," U.S. television show  The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon. –– Jerry Olson  There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. –– Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977  Imagine if every Thursday your shoes  exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time  with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. –– Jeff Raskin   The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. –– B. F. Skinner  If unix is the face of the future I wanna go back to quill pens. –– Joseph Snipp  Usenet is like a herd of performing  elephants with diarrhea  –– massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a  source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. –– Gene Spafford  If addiction is judged by how long a dumb  animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own  detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive  than cocaine. –– Rob Stampfli  Men have become the tools of their tools. –– Henry David Thoreau  Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology. –– John Tudor  Those parts of the system that you can hit  with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program  instructions that you can only curse at are called software. –– Unknown author
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