Read all these....

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at the door...

A lady opened it. Before she could speak, the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet..

Salesman: Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I ll eat all this shit!

Lady: do u need chilli sauce with that?

Salesman: why madam?

Lady: because there's no electricity in the house..

***********************************************************************************************************************

5 things American Movies Teach Us:

1. Chinese Have Nothing Better To Do Than Teaching Or Practice Kung Fu.

2. More Than 50% Of U.S. Population Are FBI/CIA Agents, Working Undercover.

3. The Purpose Of School System Of U.S. Is To Promote Basketball/Baseball.

4. Aliens Have Special Interest In Attacking the U.S.

5. U.S Is A Place Where You Can Meet All Mythical Creatures Like Werewolves &
Vampires.

5 things Indian Movies Teach Us:

1. At Least One Of The Identical Twins Is Born Evil.

2. While Defusing A Bomb, Don't Worry, Whichever Wire You Cut… You “Always
Choose The Right One".

3. A Hero Will Show No Pain, While Getting Beaten Up; But Will Show Pain When A
Heroine Cleans up His Wound.

4. A Detective Can Solve A Case Only When He Is Suspended From Duty.

*The Most Hilarious*

5. If You Decide To Start Dancing On The Street, Everyone You Meet Will Know The
Steps.

****************************************************************************************************************************

My Wife DOES NOT WORK !!!

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy ?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do ?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do ?
H : Take rest, because I'm tired due to all day work.

P : What does your wife do then ?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house, then taking kids to bed.

Who do you think works more, from the story above ???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK' ??!!

Yes, Being Homemakers do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

All about a WOMAN ....
* When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

* When she stares at you, she is wondering why she loves you so much in spite of being taken for granted.

* When she says I will stand by you, she will stand by you like a rock.

Never hurt her or take her wrong or for granted...

Forward to every woman to make her smile and to every man to make him realize a woman's worth...!!!

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What Is a Kiss..??

In Maths:- Kiss is the shortest distance
between two Lips ...

In Biology:- kiss is just exchange of
germs from one mouth to another.

In chemistry:- kiss is a process of
testing the ph of the lips.

In Physics:- It is a process to charging
a human body ...

In Computer:- Kiss is a local area
network in Which two bodies are
Connected without a data cable..

In Economics:- Kiss is a process in
which Demand is higher than supply !!

(*********************************************************************************************************************************

The manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?," was the first thing the manager asked.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority," he said. 
"I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker -
that's all. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

The manager said, "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you..."

********************************************************************************************************************************

A STORY WITH A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE!

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.
One morning, when the boy was around two years old, the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and put it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to it and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned; she was terrified. How would she face her husband?
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. “I Love You Darling.”
The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to putt he bottle away, this would not have happened.
No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who’s to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know and miss out on the warmth in human relationships we could receive by giving each other support.

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Woman asks:
If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut.
But when a man sleeps with 10 girls, everyone
calls him a real man. How come?

Man replies:
It is very simple. 'When one lock can be opened by 3
different keys, it is a bad lock. But when one key can
open 10 different locks, we call it a master key.!'

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Prove that .....

I Agree ....!!!!! Watz dis....

Bachelors think that married men are lucky. .
Married men think that Bachelors are lucky. .
The point is that
Bachelors think at night... & Married think at day time..
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Husband sent a text to his wife at night,"Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."

sent another text,"And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a diamond necklace"

She text back,"OMG really?"

Husband replied,"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message".�

**********************************************************************************************************************************

John feared that his wife Rosy wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he spoke to the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response..'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Rosy, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her and asked, 'Rosy, what's for dinner?'

(You'll love this)

"For God's sake John, for the FIFTH time I"m telling you, its 'PIZZA!"

********************************************************************************************************************************

A Message From Wife.....

Hilarious Laws

Hilarious Laws which you have not studied in schools:

Law of equality:
The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 minutes is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll cal you in 5 minutes!
Law of Queue:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Bath Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Bio mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule:
People with the seats at the farthest from the entry arrive last. Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Proposal:
After you accept a proposal you will get a better one
Law of getting late:
When you reach early for something it will never starts on time
Law of exam:
If you didn't read a page which is of least importance, first question will be from that page only.

Read ......

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the
balloonist. "I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know
where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"
*********************************************************************************************************************************

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Management & Appraisal

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat. One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat approached the horse and said: - Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat came back and said: - Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up.
Let's go! One, two, three...
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party. Let's Cook the goat!!!!

Lesson:
Management never knows which employee actually deserves the appraisal. 

Read all these ...... :) :)

Mathematician: How to write 4 in between a 5?
China: Is this a Joke?
Japan: Impossible!
America: The question's wrong!!
UK: Rubbish !!
India: F(IV)E

British: Can u Swim?
Indian: No
British: Then a Dog is Better den u because It Swims.
Indian: Can u Swim?
British: Yes!
Indian: Then What's the Difference between u & Dog…
British Shocked,Faints!!
Indian Rocks!

European : Y do U indians come in all colors, look at us,we R all white..?
Abdul Kalam: Horses too come in different colors but donkeys R all the same..!!!

This is the reason you find Indians everywhere in the world in finance, business, medicine, engineering & arts...
anything to do with optimising your brain!!

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Prize winning message of the year

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman -

"Which BOOK has helped you most in your life?"

The woman replied -

"My husband's CHEQUE BOOK !!!!

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After his father's death, the Son decided to leave his mother at old age home and visited her on and off.

Once he received a call from old age home....
Mom very serious ..... please come to visit.

Son went and saw mom very critical, on her dying bed.

He asked:
Mom what can I do for you.

Mom replied...
"Please install fans in the old age home, there are none.... Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept without food".

Son was surprised and asked: Mom, while you were here you never complained, now you have few hours left and you are telling me all this, why?

Mom replied.....
"it's OK dear, I've managed with the heat, hunger & pain, but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be able to manage!

*********************************************************************************************************************************

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. he accidentally typed d wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading d first message she fainted. The son rushed into d room, found his mother on the floor and saw d computer screen which read: 'to my loving wife, i knw u are surprised to hear from me, they hv computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I 've just been checked in. How are u and d kids, d place is realy nice but am lonely here. I hv made necessary arrangement 4 ur arrival 2morrow. Expecting u darling. I cnt wait to see u.

*********************************************************************************************************************************

How to make your husband Crazy for you !!!!!
Dear sisters,
When you marry a person. He not only becomes your husband but also your maintainer, protector, supportor, lover, friend, boyfriend and the father of your babies. so it should be your effort to make him happy and pleased with you all the time.
A woman will enter Jannah if she dies in a state when her husband was pleaded with her. ( meaning of a Hadith)
So there are some tips to make your hubby crazy for you.
1- Wake up for fajr n make your husband wake up for it.
And if he doesn't wake up.
Try to wake him up by love as kiss or hug.
And if he wakes up. Greet him with smile on ur face n hug him n motivate him to do wudu fast n go to Masjid.
2- Get his dress ready clean n pressed before his bath.
You can also help him take bath
or take bath with him.
3- Always ensure that your hubby takes his breakfast n also give him a tiffin bcz most of the time men don't get time for it outside or take very unhygienic food.
He is your husband, so it is ur duty to take care of his health.
4- When seeing him off for office.
Kiss him n hug him n whisper in his ears that you ll be waiting for him.
5- Don't disturb your hubby frequently by calling him, bcz u don't know in what mood he is in his office or shop.
It is better that u send him a message.
And if he calls you, pick his call with excitement as if you were missing him or waiting for his call.
These are little things to do but it always pays good dividends.
6- if he gets late. Don't start getting worried or doubtful.
Give him a call n ask him politely that Are you busy? or I think you are getting late today.
Or you are missing him and wants him at home soon.
7- Flirt with him day in day out
Be creative in ur flirt, seduce him or make him exited for you.
8- when he comes home.
Greet him, take his back or whatever he has brought.
Ask him to sit peacefully n serve him water.
Don't start ur home drama as soon as he reaches home.
If he brings anything. Don't try to find fault in it even there is some fault.
But later when he feels good n relaxed tell him ur problems or anything.
Make his faults and mistakes seem easy to correct.
9- Don't be egoistic and think that if your husband wants to be physical then only he should approach. Bcz he is a man n you are a woman. so you are the Owner of love.
Always think that one is useless without other in case of love and child bearing.
10- Offer yourself n everything very happily at anytime he demands either day or night, Sunday or Monday.
Be satisfied with him for everything he does or brings fr u.
Appreciate him.
Encourage him.
Motivate him.
Love him.
Adore him.
Care for him.
Be crazy for him.
And must respect him. I m writing it as per my observation and introspection. So there may be many mistakes or not according to your philosophy.
And one may think that why only wife is asked to do these things. Then I tell you very simple thing.
What you give better you receive.
If you give respect, u get respect.
If you madly love ur hubby, he ll be crazy for u.

**********************************************************************************************************************************

Divorce after 35 years !! - Very nice story

Divorce after 35 years !! - Very nice story

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,
'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'
She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'

MORAL:
No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.
The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE to make your parents or friends happy.
Always Remember Charlie Chaplin's 3 Heart touching statements:-

1st- Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our Troubles..

2nd- I like walking in the rain, because nobody can see my tears..

And

3rd MOST IMP- the most wasted day in life, is the day, in which, we have not laughed..

So Keep Smiling

A Man speaks 25000 words......

Normally A Man speaks 25000 words Daily & Woman speaks 30000.

But d Problem starts When Husband comes Home after finishing his 25000 words Wife starts her 30000
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
Law of equality

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call u in 5 min!
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of website.
You understand Nothing, still you click
"I Agree"......!!
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
I argued... She argued...
I shouted... She shouted and then she cried

Result: she won by duckworth lewis method
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
Chess is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the husband.
the poor king can take only one step at a time ...
While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
All Men are Brave,
Horror Movies don't Scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife..surely does...

Marketing ....

Funny

Boss n Employee

Leave Office on Time...

Army Ranks

Cuties :)

Our Society ...

Act Smart...!!!

(HR-HIGH RISK.)

After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been prmoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."

I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the conversation that took place.

Manager: How many days are there in a year?

Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.

Manager: How many hours make up a day?

Me: 24 Hours.

Manager: How long do u work in a day?

Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)

Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?

Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).

Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?

Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days)

Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?

Me: No sir.

Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.

Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?

Me: 18 days.

Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?

Me: 4 days.

Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?

Me: No sir!

Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?

Me: No sir!

Manager: So how many days r left?

Me: 2 days Sir!

Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?

Me: No sir!

Manager: So how many days r left?

Me: 1 day sir!

Manager: Do u work on Diwali ?

Me: No Sir!

Manager: So how many days are left?

Me: None Sir!

Manager: So what r u claiming?

Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT PLACES OF INDIA :

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT PLACES OF INDIA :

Scenario 1 : Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on..🚶
That's MUMBAI..

Scenario 2 : Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.. The first two get together and beat him up..
That's DELHI.

Scenario 3 : Two guys fighting and third guy comes from a nearby house and says "don't fight in front of my place, go somewhere else." 
That's BANGALORE.. 

Scenario 4 : Two guys fighting third guy comes along with a carton of beer.. All sit together drink beer and abuse each other and go home as friends..
You are definitely in GOA...🏊🏄

Scenario 5 : Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles..  Now 50 guys are fighting..
You are in PUNJAB.

Scenario 6 : Two guys fighting. Third guy comes and shoots both of them.. 
You are in BIHAR..

Scenario 7 : Two guys fighting. First guy started beating the second guy, the Third guy comes and joins with first guy and beated second guy without knowing anything.. 
You are right
(Tamilnadu)..

Last Scenario: Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea stall there 
That's KERALA......

Wedding invitation

Wedding invitation

Like

New HR Policy,

New HR Policy,

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Leave:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Casual leave:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

The HR

Kool

UPSC Civil Services Exam 2014: Eligibility criteria

UPSC Civil Services Exam 2014: Eligibility criteria

Union Public Service Commission is conducting Civil Services Examination for recruitment to various services and posts. The exam is scheduled on August 24. The willing candidates can apply online by June 30.

The candidates are required to fulfill the following eligibility criteria in order to apply:

Nationality:

The candidates should be the citizens of India for the Indian Administrative Service and the Indian Police Service.

Age limit:

The candidates should not aged less than 21 years and not more than 32 years as on August 1, 2014. (In case of candidates belonging to SC/ ST category, the upper age limit is relaxable up to five years. In case of OBC candidates, the upper age limit is relaxable up to three years).

Educational qualification:

The candidates should possess a degree of any of the universities incorporated by an Act of the Central or state legislature in India or other educational institutions established by an Act of Parliament or declared to be deemed as a university under Section-3 of the University Grants Commission Act, 1956.

Number of attempts:

The candidates can apply to a maximum of six times. The candidates belonging to OBC category can apply for a total of nine times. This restriction on the number of attempts will not apply in case of Scheduled Caste and Schedule Tribe candidates.

11 Ways Towards SUCCESS:

11 Ways Towards SUCCESS:


1. PLAN while others are playing.
2. STUDY while others are sleeping.
3. DECIDE while others are delaying.
4. PREPARE while others are daydreaming.
5. BEGIN while others are procrastinating.
6. WORK while others are wishing.
7. SAVE while others are wasting.
8. LISTEN while others are talking.
9. SMILE while others are frowning.
10. COMMEND while others are criticizing.
11. PERSIST while others are quitting.

10 Reasons Why You Will Never Become Rich

10 Reasons Why You Will Never Become Rich

There’s an interesting maxim about how long wealth actually stays with a person and their descendants. The saying is three generations, tops: one to make it, one to spend it, and the third to blow it. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but have you ever sat down and seriously thought about wealth and what it means to you? Or do you figure, “What the heck, I’ve always been broke, my forefathers were broke; it’s generational” – it’s just a rite of passage of sorts. If you feel that wealth is out of your reach, you aren’t alone. According to some experts, there are millions of ‘clueless potential millionaires’ who could be at the top of the wealth ladder if they only reined in a few bad habits. However, you may be a skeptic, and rightly so. Being wealthy means different things to different people. But according to the experts, there are financial mistakes many people make that keep them away from their possible wealth.

What is Wealth Anyway?

Most people do not equate wealth with a mansion or a big yacht. In fact, a scanty 7% of people surveyed associate wealth with material possessions like cars, houses and boats. Rather, to many, being rich means having just enough to not worry about the next payday – that’s according to 33% of those questioned. An additional 26% define being wealthy, or rich, as having more than enough money to quit their jobs. Still, few people place an actual dollar amount on what it means to be wealthy. Only 17% felt that being rich means having at least $1 million or more, and 11% stated a six-figure yearly income would make them feel rich. Yet most people who are rich don’t even consider themselves rich. Maybe it’s because being ‘rich’ or ‘wealthy’ has very little to do with material possessions, and more to do with how people feel about themselves.

A useful tip for car owners !!

A useful tip for car owners !!! 

How to Immediately Get Back Your Stolen Car !

It is a fantastic idea for those who can't afford car insurance or Tracker System. I'm forwarding this to all my friends.

How to Get Back Your Stolen Car?

It takes only 2 minutes for a car thief to runaway with your car. No matter you have a trekker and auto-alarming devices fitted in your car.

The best safety for your car is a live and active Mobile Phone hidden in a safe place in your car:

1. Buy any low price mobile phone with longer standby time.

2. Install a mobile connection which has best network in the country.

3. Turn this mobile on complete SILENT mode (double check it should not vibrate while you turn it on SILENT mode).

4. Wrap it up slightly in a plastic sheet so that it should not get dirty and dusty during its hidden use.

5. Make sure it is perfectly responding by calling its number from another mobile phone.

6. Hide this mobile in a safe place in your car. And that’s it…!!!

If your car is stolen, immediately inform your local Police Help Line. Give them phone number of the mobile hidden in your car. Police can easily track the location by calling that number. Chances are that you may get back your car within the shortest possible time.

And finally do not forget to charge this mobile at least twice a week and hide it back in your car in active position.

Please share this message with all your friends.

Good luck. If you get back your car this way, do remember me in your prayers!

HAPPY MEN'S DAY"....... Which never comes.

For the 1st time SOMETHING about a MAN. Do read it....

Ⓜ Who is a MAN

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.

He sacrifices his chocolates🍬 for his sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 💭for just a smile on his parents face.

He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts for the lady 👰 he lovesjust to see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth for his wife & children👪 by working late at night without any complain.

He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them for lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has to bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.

His life finally ends up only by compromising for others' happiness.

If he raises hands on a woman, then he's cruel

If he gets hit by a woman, then he's a sissy

If he picks up a fight seein his girl with another guy, then he's jealous n insecure

If he remains silent, then he's a coward

If he goes out, then he's careless

If he stays at home, then he's a lazy

If he scolds children, then he's a monster

If he doesn't scold, then he's a irresponsible guy
If he stops wife from working, then he's an insecure guy

If he doesn't stops wife from workin, then he's somebody who lives on wife's earnings

If he listens to mom, then he's mama's boy

If he listens to wife, he's wife's slave

Respect every male in your life. U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.

Worth sending to every man to make him simile & every woman to make her realize his worth!!

HAPPY MEN'S DAY"
Which never comes..

PRIME MINISTERS OF INDIA

The Chief Justices of India

The Chief Justices of India

1 H. J. Kania ( 1950-1951)
2 M. Patanjali Sastri (1951- 1954)
3 Mehr Chand Mahajan (1954- 1954)
4 Bijan Kumar Mukherjea (1954- 1956)
5 Sudhi Ranjan Das (1956- 1959)
6 Bhuvaneshwar Prasad Sinha (1959-1964)
7 P. B. Gajendragadkar (1964-1966)
8 Amal Kumar Sarkar (1966-1966)
9 Koka Subba Rao (1966-1967)
10 Kailas Nath Wanchoo (1967-1968)
11 Mohammad Hidayatullah (1968- 1970)
12 Jayantilal Chhotalal Shah (1970 – 1971)
13 Sarv Mittra Sikri (1971-1973)
14 Ajit Nath Ray (1973 -1977)
15 Mirza Hameedullah Beg (1977-1978)
16 Yeshwant Vishnu Chandrachud (1978 -1985)
17 Prafullachandra Natwarlal Bhagwati (1985-1986)
18 Raghunandan Swarup Pathak (1986-1989)
19 Engalaguppe Seetharamiah Venkataramiah (1989-1989)
20 Sabyasachi Mukharji (1989-1990)
21 Ranganath Misra (1990-1991)
22 Kamal Narain Singh (1991-1991)
23 Madhukar Hiralal Kania (1991 -1992)
24 Lalit Mohan Sharma (1992-1993)
25 Manepalli Narayana Rao Venkatachaliah (1993-1994)
26 Aziz Mushabber Ahmadi (1994 -1997)
27 Jagdish Sharan Verma ( 1997 -1998)
28 Madan Mohan Punchhi (1998-1998)
29 Adarsh Sein Anand (1998-2001)
30 Sam Piroj Bharucha (2001-2002)
31 Bhupinder Nath Kirpal (2002-2002)
32 Gopal Ballav Pattanaik (2002-2002)
33 V. N. Khare (2002 -2004)
34 S. Rajendra Babu (2004-2004)
35 Ramesh Chandra Lahoti (2004 -2005)
36 Yogesh Kumar Sabharwal (2005-2007)
37 K. G. Balakrishnan (2007 -2010)
38 S. H. Kapadia (2010 -2012)
39 Altamas Kabir (2012- 2013)
40 P. Sathasivam (2013 

Numbers in Human Body.

Numbers in Human Body.

¤ Number of bones – 206.
¤ Number of ribs – 24.
¤ Number of bones in skull – 22.
¤ Number of bones in face – 14.
¤ Number of bones in neck – 7 .
¤ Number of bones in Vertebral column – 33.
¤ Number of bones in hand – 30 .
¤ Respiratory rate – 16-20
times / minute .
¤ Number of heart beat – 70-72 times/minute.
¤ Number of pulse- 70-72
times / minute .
¤ Blood pressure – 120/80 mm of Hg.
¤ Number of Cranial nerves – 12 pairs .
¤ Number of spinal nerves – 31 pairs .
¤ Life span of R.B.C – 120 days .
¤ Life span of W.BC – 10-15 Days .
¤ Life span of platelets – 5-9 days.
¤ Amount of blood – 5-6 Ltr

°°°°FUNNY FULL FORMS OF IT COMPANIES°°°°

°°°°FUNNY FULL FORMS OF IT COMPANIES°°°° 

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor &Rubbish Output
3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS: Totally ConfusingSolutions
5. INFOSYS: Inferior OfflineSystems
6. HUGHES: Highly UselessGraduates Hired for Eating andSleeping
7. BAAN: Beggars AssociationAnd Nerds
8. IBM: Implicitly BoringMachines
9. SATYAM: Sad And TiredYelling Away Madly
10. PARAM: Puzzled AndRidiculous Array ofMicroprocessors
11. C-DOT: Coffee DuringOffice Timings
12. CMC: Coffee, Meals andComfort
13. DELL: DeplorableEquipment & lacklusters
14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms ofIndia.
15. ORACLE: On-line RomanceAnd Chatting with LadyEmployees.  

What is love

English paper
Question :-What is love and explain in
details ? ( 20 marks)
Answer:
USA's Student.......
Answer: Love is life.
(marks : 5 out of 20 )
UK's Student......
Answer : Love is pain.
( marks : 5 out of 20 )
Indian Student......
Answer : Love Khuda hai.
( marks : 5 out of 20 )
(IT)Engineer Student........
Answer :
.
.
.
.
.
- Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to
relationship between men & women that
can cause death of 1 or both depending
on the resistance associated
- TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided
- AGE:
Usually occurs in teenages but nowdays
can be found in any age
- SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile
- TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or
Mother's Sandal......
(marks 20 out of 20 )
Excellent !!
_______________ _______
NOTE :-
(IT)Engineering students can stretch any thing for 20
marks !

Ten Commandments

Cardinal Rules in Life

You may not believe in this

You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man or woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.

5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams
don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt
but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

14. Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.

15. Say "Alhamdulillah" when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R's:
a) Respect for self;
b) Respect for others;
c) Responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you've made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone.
The caller will hear it in your voice.

21. Spend some time alone.

22. All these principles will be ours, when we put them to practice.