Read all these....

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at the door...

A lady opened it. Before she could speak, the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet..

Salesman: Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I ll eat all this shit!

Lady: do u need chilli sauce with that?

Salesman: why madam?

Lady: because there's no electricity in the house..

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5 things American Movies Teach Us:

1. Chinese Have Nothing Better To Do Than Teaching Or Practice Kung Fu.

2. More Than 50% Of U.S. Population Are FBI/CIA Agents, Working Undercover.

3. The Purpose Of School System Of U.S. Is To Promote Basketball/Baseball.

4. Aliens Have Special Interest In Attacking the U.S.

5. U.S Is A Place Where You Can Meet All Mythical Creatures Like Werewolves &
Vampires.

5 things Indian Movies Teach Us:

1. At Least One Of The Identical Twins Is Born Evil.

2. While Defusing A Bomb, Don't Worry, Whichever Wire You Cut… You “Always
Choose The Right One".

3. A Hero Will Show No Pain, While Getting Beaten Up; But Will Show Pain When A
Heroine Cleans up His Wound.

4. A Detective Can Solve A Case Only When He Is Suspended From Duty.

*The Most Hilarious*

5. If You Decide To Start Dancing On The Street, Everyone You Meet Will Know The
Steps.

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My Wife DOES NOT WORK !!!

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy ?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do ?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do ?
H : Take rest, because I'm tired due to all day work.

P : What does your wife do then ?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house, then taking kids to bed.

Who do you think works more, from the story above ???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK' ??!!

Yes, Being Homemakers do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

All about a WOMAN ....
* When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

* When she stares at you, she is wondering why she loves you so much in spite of being taken for granted.

* When she says I will stand by you, she will stand by you like a rock.

Never hurt her or take her wrong or for granted...

Forward to every woman to make her smile and to every man to make him realize a woman's worth...!!!

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What Is a Kiss..??

In Maths:- Kiss is the shortest distance
between two Lips ...

In Biology:- kiss is just exchange of
germs from one mouth to another.

In chemistry:- kiss is a process of
testing the ph of the lips.

In Physics:- It is a process to charging
a human body ...

In Computer:- Kiss is a local area
network in Which two bodies are
Connected without a data cable..

In Economics:- Kiss is a process in
which Demand is higher than supply !!

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The manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?," was the first thing the manager asked.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority," he said. 
"I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker -
that's all. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

The manager said, "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you..."

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A STORY WITH A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE!

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.
One morning, when the boy was around two years old, the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and put it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to it and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned; she was terrified. How would she face her husband?
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. “I Love You Darling.”
The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to putt he bottle away, this would not have happened.
No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who’s to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know and miss out on the warmth in human relationships we could receive by giving each other support.

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Woman asks:
If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut.
But when a man sleeps with 10 girls, everyone
calls him a real man. How come?

Man replies:
It is very simple. 'When one lock can be opened by 3
different keys, it is a bad lock. But when one key can
open 10 different locks, we call it a master key.!'

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